Five new 'eads and six new 'andles

to be sung in the style of London Victorian music hall

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I keeps me 'aaas quite tidy,
Each thing in its place.
And a little dust and polish
Puts a smile upon me face.
Then out the back I sally
To tend the plants and shrubs
And me trusty broom goes flying
Around the pots and tubs....

Five new 'eads and six new 'andles,
Nothing else for me will do!
Five new 'eads and six new 'andles,
Makes me old broom sweep like new.

Then I dons me cap and jacket,
And I saunter down the lane,
To join me chinas down at Dolly's,
For a bevvy and a game.
But when it comes to payin',
Dolly's 'appy to accept,
And me trusty broom goes flying,
When there's sawdust to be swept.

Five new 'eads and six new 'andles,
Nothing else for me will do!
Five new 'eads and six new 'andles,
Makes me old broom sweep like new.

Now if the King should ask me
How I would rule this land.
I'd tell him "Mate, let's cut out waste
We'll all make do and mend".
No man gets rich through squander.
Nor yet by splashin' out.
But honest thrift and providence
Will sort this country out .......

Five new 'eads and six new 'andles,
Nothing else for me will do!
Five new 'eads and six new 'andles,
Makes me old broom sweep like new.

Origin of the Song

This song was composed after the head broke off my broom while sweeping the garden path!

It's a very old joke, supposedly having its origins in the 'Ship of Theseus paradox'

The same joke is well known in UK popular culture as a result of being used in the TV series 'Only Fools and Hourse - see a video clip of the sketch featuring 'Trigger's broom' here

Downloadable Media files.

A recording of me singing the song!
Sincere apologies for the distinctly northern 'London accent' - but you get the idea!

Five new Heads mp3 file

A printable lyric Sheet

pdf lyric sheet